Hitler & New Jersey, Perfect Together

Yes it’s true.  Adolf Hitler still lives; in Southern New Jersey.  Adolf Hitler Campbell that is.  The three-year-old who made headlines in December when a Pennsylvania supermarket wouldn’t personalize a cake “Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler” (imagine that), is now with the State of New Jersey after being taken from his parents.

While details of why the Campbell’s lost custody of their three kids, but in a December comment he made to the press after the cake ordeal, you could imagine why.

Wait a minute, a couple who names their children after higher ups in the Nazi Party loses custody of their kids?  There’s a surprise.  In classical fashion Heath Campbell, the boy’s father, still defends his sons name.

“This is America. They say it’s free. You have a right to name your child what you want to name your child. “

White trash never ceases to amaze me.  This dipshit is 100% right, you can name your kid anything you want, but how many kids named “Shitbag” to you know?  None, because 99% of the population have something called common sense.

It’s because of guys like this there’s instruction on how to open a fucking cereal box.  Some dickhole figued “This is America, I can open a box any way I feel like it”, and tried to cut itdown the middle with a steak knife and ended up cutting his hand and getting Cherrios all over the floor.

Little Adolf isn’t the only Campbell with a “clever” name.  His sister dons the middle name “Ayrian Nation” and his other sister is “Hinler”.  Sounds to me like like the Campbell children are better off with the state of New Jersey, not a racist redneck.

Confessions of a Teen Idol

Although I have been inspired by Eric Nies, CoaTI is a pretty bad show.  Mainly because the cast isn’t what you would consider teen idols.  It’s a lot of leftovers and people you never heard of.  A guy from Fame, the lead from Blue Lagoon (no, not Brooke Shields), a sideliner from 90210, a couple clowns from Baywatch, Nies, etc.  One of the “stars” was the sidekick on TJ Hooker?  Really?  I guess Andrew Shue turned the gig down.

Just because it’s bad doesn’t mean it’s not entertaining.  My favorite character is David Chokachi.  David who?  Yeah, I said the same thing when I first watched it.  He’s one of the Baywatch clowns (no wonder I never heard of him).  Well he’s gone from Baywatch to an unemployed guy in his mid-30′s, and yes, he’s a douchebag.  The guy is so full of himself, that when he hears negative criticism, he pitches a fit because he wants to be taken seriously.  Hey David, you’re not Al Pacino, you’re a leftover from Baywatch.  You might think you’re important, but no one else does.

I’m going to give CoaTI the old college try, but I’m not sure how long it’ll last.

Morning Thought

How come you never see contestants on American Idol try to impress the judges with the lyrical stylings of Kenny Loggins?

I Want A Six Pack

Great title right?  I know you’re thinking, ‘Well fuck, I want me a sixer too!’.  Yeah, I’m not talking about that type of six pack.  That’s part of the reason I’m in the shape I’m in.  About 45 too many of those sixers.  I’m talking about abs.  At 34 and somewhere in the ballpark of 25o (I haven’t weighed myself in a while, although I did buy myself a scale today), I want washboard fucking abs.  Yeah most people in my shape (my Wii age is 74), would be happy to cut down on their smoking, and maybe cut down their McDonalds consumption to once a week.  Not this guy.  I want to look like Tony fucking Little (minus the pseudo mullet and the shitty exercise machine).

Now where would an overweight smoker in his mid-30′s get this idea?

None other than Eric Nies.

Yeah that same guy who used to host The Grind on MTV.  Well he’s back trying to get face time on another VH1 classic Confessions of a Teen Idol.  See back in his days on MTV, Nies was a total douchebag (a prime candidate for Tool Academy, another stellar VH1 program).  Not anymore.  Homeboy is a marginal hippie living off the land.  I dig it.  See I used to have this idea that in order to be in good shape you have to be a complete tool (and in most cases that’s true), but Nies has help me see the light.

I’m still a bit skeptical though.  Muscles and hair-gel seem to go hand and hand.

I wonder if I’d be a good douchebag.  I’d have to start calling everyone ‘bro’, start to tan, wear excessive cologne, sexually harass woman, and glorify the State of New Jersey.  I’m not sure if I’m up for that.