Great title right? I know you’re thinking, ‘Well fuck, I want me a sixer too!’. Yeah, I’m not talking about that type of six pack. That’s part of the reason I’m in the shape I’m in. About 45 too many of those sixers. I’m talking about abs. At 34 and somewhere in the ballpark of 25o (I haven’t weighed myself in a while, although I did buy myself a scale today), I want washboard fucking abs. Yeah most people in my shape (my Wii age is 74), would be happy to cut down on their smoking, and maybe cut down their McDonalds consumption to once a week. Not this guy. I want to look like Tony fucking Little (minus the pseudo mullet and the shitty exercise machine).
Now where would an overweight smoker in his mid-30′s get this idea?
None other than Eric Nies.
Yeah that same guy who used to host The Grind on MTV. Well he’s back trying to get face time on another VH1 classic Confessions of a Teen Idol. See back in his days on MTV, Nies was a total douchebag (a prime candidate for Tool Academy, another stellar VH1 program). Not anymore. Homeboy is a marginal hippie living off the land. I dig it. See I used to have this idea that in order to be in good shape you have to be a complete tool (and in most cases that’s true), but Nies has help me see the light.
I’m still a bit skeptical though. Muscles and hair-gel seem to go hand and hand.
I wonder if I’d be a good douchebag. I’d have to start calling everyone ‘bro’, start to tan, wear excessive cologne, sexually harass woman, and glorify the State of New Jersey. I’m not sure if I’m up for that.
Tags: Confessions of a Teen Idol, Douchebag, Eric Nies, The Grind, Tony Little, Tool Academy
